Artists Journals – My Letter to Erin
Back then, I was preparing to leave a difficult marriage. My then-husband wanted me out of the house, but I insisted on staying until my youngest child finished high school. It probably wasn’t one of my better ideas, but it seemed like the right thing to do, at the time.
Emotionally (and sometimes, mentally) I was holding on by a thread. The Harry Potter books were what kept happy outcomes in my mind, and several supportive friends were invaluable to me. They made sure that I got out and saw people, regularly. I am so grateful to them. I’m sure that I was difficult to deal with, at times.
One friend in my circle of friends suggested that we could all get together and create our own version of Hogwarts. It would be a place to learn things like authentic bookbinding, assemblage and found art techniques, and so on. Of course, it was a fantasy, but several of us were going through difficult times. Pretending it might be real, someday… that helped tremendously.
One day, my wonderful friend Erin asked me to explain how I worked on the journals that I kept during that time. The journals were where I expressed my hopes, fears, aspirations, and anxieties, usually through my art, but sometimes with accompanying text.
I replied to Erin, and then I posted my (slightly edited) explanation as an article. Here it is.
My friend Erin asked me how I work on art/journals.
Generally, I have a couple of them going. One is my angry one, that no one will ever see. It’s unattractive, but keeps me from venting too inappropriately sometimes. Pain and rage are scribbled on its pages.
Then I’ll have the one at hand. Right now, with maybe ten more pages left in it, it’s my “Hogwarts Journal.” (That’s it in the photo, at left.) It’s a journal that started as a place to jot notes & sketches for the university I’d love to create someday, either on my own or with my friends.
I started this journal because my partners-in-crime for this project are as busy as I am. I see one member of the group infrequently, but for longer periods of time. I figured that I could just hand him this journal when our paths cross, and it’d save me hours of explaining my ideas (and probably forgetting half of them) .
But though I thought I was finished with this journal weeks ago, it was always at my elbow, convenient for adding more art & ideas, often unrelated to Hogwarts.
Now it’s nearly full, with about 1/2 Hogwarts ideas, and 1/2 totally different art & ideas.
I also have an event-related journal in progress (I’m writing this in Feb 2002, immediately after Celebrate Art!) And another one that seemed like a good idea before the event, but I didn’t like the stilted not-really-art that I produced trying to deal with pre-event stress, so it went into the trash yesterday.
(No, I don’t usually throw out art, but honestly, this was truly awful stuff, beyond redemption!)
Generally, I start with standard sketchbooks. You know, the ring-binder kind that they sell at Michael’s, and other art supply shops. I like the 5″x8″ size. (For the following illustrations, I’m using my Hogwarts journal.)
First, I gesso & paint and then collage the cover. (Gesso keeps the paint from seeping into the paper.) I use whatever gesso is cheap & available in bulk.
Recently, I added a hemp/string & button closure to this journal, because the pages are too irregular for it to stay closed. I lace the string through two mini-grommets I’ve mounted in the back cover, and I wrap the hemp/string around the antique button loosely sewn on the front. (It’s secured with a smaller antique button on the inside of the front cover.)But, next in the process, I start the title page, which will evolve as the journal does. This one isn’t finished yet.
Along the way, I’ll alternately write and make art in the journal. (I like the phrase “make art” because it sounds like “make love,” and it’s an equally passionate expression.) I deliberately gesso ahead a few pages when I’m doing art, to make certain I keep punctuating my journal with art.
Below is an early page from this journal. This collage started with line taken from a magazine: “You’re not alone.”
This entry was from the time when I deliberately dropped my boundaries and started accepting hugs from people again. And I discovered that some friends give fabulous hugs, while other people in my life… well, my own journaling on that page says it:
“I need someone to hold. Someone who won’t pull back at the first sign of release, and withdraw behind the mask as if the whole thing was a little distasteful. Someone who looks me in the eyes and smiles beyond his lips, with a knowledge of the ages and a sense of comfort like returning home to a place I never really left.”
The tissue paper–like most of my images–was applied with Golden Gel Medium (soft, gloss). This leaves the tissue transparent enough to read the text through, while giving it the sense of layers that I value in my art.
Generally, my elements are antique paper (from flea markets), magazine images & text (W magazine and Nat’l Geographic), art & text that I create on the computer, and acrylic paint, glitter, and sometimes gold leaf. Surface embellishments include found feathers & other items, antique buttons, freshwater pearls, and… whatever else finds its way into my art supplies!
And yes, the pages do buckle and bubble beneath the gesso, paint, gel medium, and layers. That’s why I use a string-and-button closure. And no, I don’t mind that it’s such an irregular and funky design. I’m very process oriented, and if the pages buckle and warp… so be it.
So anyway, that’s today’s art blurb. I hope it helps!
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